My confessions of a 1st year full time entrepreneur

entreprenuer-confessions

 

I remember breaking down this one evening in April when I was pulling my hair about how I was going to pay my phone bill. I started crying. I was tired.

I was tired of the uncertainty, tired of the questions, tired of the unknown, and mainly tired of being stressed out about where money would come from this week. 

I got on my classes and taught people marketing and told them how awesome being an entrepreneur was and having your own business.

And it was awesome, but only parts of it was. 

The other parts were… well… the death of me

I couldn’t meet my friends for dinner because I had no money.

I couldn’t buy toilet paper sometimes and had to find something to wipe my ass with!

Sometimes I ate a slice of bread or cereal for dinner, both cost less than $5 and would last for a week! 

One time my power went out and I had to sit in a dark apartment with no air for 2 days. 

My internet and cable got cut off many times, and sometimes right before I had to teach a class.  

I had to borrow money from people, something I was so embarrassed to do, but at times I had no choice but to be humbled and ask for help. 

On the outside my life looked great: I was going on work trips, I was my own boss, I had my own schedule. 

Part of me felt like a total fraud. Is this the dream I am selling people? Sitting in a dark apartment for 2 days and eating cereal for dinner and having no social life? 


This thought made me cry some more. 

You may ask, then why did you keep going Aditi? Why didn’t you just get a job? 

I thought about it. 

And every time I thought about getting a corporate job my body wanted to vomit. And as I remembered the days I went to work every morning, I remembered I was tight with money then too, so really would I rather be tight with money with a job I don’t care for? or tight with money with a job I’d do anything for? 

As a cherry on top to why I couldn’t go back, I was shown in my meditations I would get really sick if I went back to that life.

How was I supposed to explain this to my family and my friends? 

Majority of the people I surrounded myself with in the past don’t use their intuition to the level that I now use it so they didn’t really get it.

“You have to be practical Aditi.”

“You need to be logical about this.”

The truth is, there is nothing logical about following your intuition and your life purpose. When you invoke divine order and start listening to the call of God, all “practicality” in the human earth’s mind goes out the window. 

My old posse didn’t get it. So I decided to keep silent. And suffer silently.

No one would understand, even if I tried to tell them, I sounded crazy.

“This is what God is telling me to do, ” I told a few people and they looked at me like I had two heads.

Is it so weird to have a connection with God and listen to the guidance?

Apparently it is, with the old group of people I surrounded myself with. 

I silently cried for help, I felt so alone, how was I supposed to do this by just listening to a tiny voice in my head but being around people who just didn’t get it?

My prayer was soon heard and answered. A few months later I was given a new posse to roll with. This group of people understood, and we soon became a family. 

There was 4 of us, and we had each other’s back like I’ve never experienced before.

If one person didn’t have money for food, another person had money that week and would send it over. 

If one person was having a mental breakdown, the other 3 would show up to help. 

If one person questioned their gifts, the other 3 showed them how powerful they were.

Each person added something powerful to the group that kept our spirits alive and reminded us that we are doing exactly what we are supposed to. 

I know that this is the life I’m supposed to live. I know I can never go back to my old life. I have a fire burning inside of me that must come out.

Even though other people won’t get it.

Even though only I can see the vision.

Now more than ever I stand in strong conviction that I am on the right path. No matter how hard it may be, I am supported by a divine force that has always taken care of me.

I have never been without a roof over my head or without food and neither have my other 3 counterparts. 

What keeps us going?

Believing in something bigger than us.

Believing that we are meant for more.

Believing that we are more than just what we see with our naked eyes.

Believing that we are more than just our bodies.

Knowing that magic is real.

Knowing that miracles are real. 

Knowing that we are gifted, and the world needs it. 

The more each of us boosted each other things have started to flow more for each of us. I’m less afraid, less stressed and more trusting and more faithful. I’m standing stronger in my purpose now than I ever have before and people are starting to see it and starting to respond too. 

Maybe that was the divine’s plan all along? To go through those experiences to bring me to a place where I would trust more and rely more on the divine. 

I’m not doing this just as a fun hobby as some may think. This is my life’s mission and why I was on born on this Earth. 

I am committed to empowering people to own their worth, impact the world with their gifts, and live their lives unapologetically. 

I have never felt more alive, more aligned, and more committed to anything ever in my life. And that’s what keeps me going. 

What keeps you going?

PS. Here is me actually enjoying one of the perks. I spent my birthday week in Miami and didn’t have to take any (PTO) time off! I stayed at an amazing studio Airbnb just 2 blocks from the beach. One of my favorite times of this whole year.

miami-2 miami

 


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